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http://www.stirringtroubleinternationally.com/2011/11/28/tips-on-how-to-take-advantage-of-political-correctness-to-boost-your-prospects/

November 28, 2011


Ted Obvious writes from London: Now that political correctness has become a religion for so many people, who tend to rush to each other’s help the moment they see their comrades getting into trouble, or just needing a helping hand and encouragement, it’s time to look at some of the ways of taking advantage of PC to boost your career prospects, make some good money and generally improve your standing.

How about becoming obsessively passionate about human rights, to get noticed by the politically correct fraternity? Even though human rights nowadays mostly benefit people, who are on the wrong side of the law or who indulge themselves in terrorism and all sorts of perverse activities with minors, it is still a major pillar of the concept of PC. So go for it, warning how dangerous it is to ignore human right, including those of animals as well. Form an action group or a charity and raise money to spread awareness about the importance of human rights. Write a book, two books in fact, about how you feel about human rights, peppering them with quotes by great people, and they will sell out. And you’ll be praised all over the world and might even receive the Nobel Peace Prize, or some other prize. You can bang on about democracy as well, but human rights are a slicker, sexier subject to brag about, sending them PC freaks into a real frenzy.

And don’t forget multiculturalism. Choose some irrelevant nation in the middle of nowhere and start promoting its culture, even if it hasn’t got any. Bang on about the need to learn more the way people in your chosen nation get together in the evening and dance around the fire, wearing nothing but a smile, or sing in high pitched voices with their privates squeezed hard. Insist that nude dancing and high pitched singing in this place dates back to the Stone Age and has influenced a lot of modern music – which will be true, by the way. Trust me, your voice will be heard and your call will be picked up by thousands of nutters, who see culture everywhere, even while sitting on the bog. In no time you’ll have a serious number of supporters and you can launch a charity and start raising money to save the vanishing tradition of nude dancing around the fire and loud singing with genitals squeezed. And who knows, you might even get a grant from the European Union or the United Nations that waste public money on PC causes with no reservations. A book deal may come up and a documentary may follow making you quite wealthy in the process.

Climate change is a wonderful PC idea to adopt and prosper on. There is so much money to be made on climate change, if you show proper dedication and passion, that it is quite possible that you may become a multi-millionaire eventually, like Al Gore. People, who will come to your support in whatever you’ll be doing, would be pushing your cause as hard as they can. Governments will throw ridiculous money at you, TV appearances will become regular, books deals will be offered and you will be invited to speak in front of large audiences for astronomical fees. Sure, you’ll be meeting a lot of strange people, but you will find that getting laid would not be a problem, as most climate change fanatics are horny as rabbits. The beauty of the whole thing is that you would be able to live without any consideration for climate change, as the people who promote it are actually some of the biggest polluters themselves.

Bashing religion has become an integral part of political correctness, with some people making an absolute fortune out of it, using the freedom of expression and human rights to silence anyone who tells them to shut their filthy traps. Posing as an atheist, you would be able to say whatever you want, behaving like a wild beast and still getting all the support and understanding of fellow atheists. If you decide to write a book bashing religion or make a similarly tasteful film or even a cartoon, with some serious blasphemy in it, expect success and loads of money and awards coming your way.

Turning into a feminist might work for you, but the cause has been on the down in recent years, with many women turning against feminists and treating them like the disgusting punks that they are. Still, some opportunities in feminism still exist and if you play your cards right you might be able to make a bit of money and have a shag.

Other things that PC freaks like to hear would be calling for drugs to be legalised, for heterosexual relations and marriage to be banned, for criminals to be treated like victims of social injustice. You would be advised to show disregard for classical music and classical literature and all things classical generally, while toasting modern and especially post-modern art in their hideousness. It’s also a good idea to bash common sense a lot that the PC fraternity finds uncomfortable and demeaning for its views.

So go for it, use political correctness to your advantage, but do beware that you will have to mix with some pretty crazy lot and you may even find that the s..t they say can become contagious.

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