I remember a confrontation I once had in the workplace. Fair to say it pretty much changed my life forever. It all happened several years ago at one of the early law firms I worked at...

I worked at...

I worked at...

I worked at...

(Cue mysterious music and image starts to shimmer)



So there I was was. Young brash apprentice just starting out in the business. Bursting with enthusiasm and going about the most mundane of tasks with a spring in his step. And so on.

One day my boss, the Practice Manager, walks up to me and says, Oli, he says, Oli, of the partners, Mr Hsu, wants to see you upstairs in his office.

I couldn't believe it! Up until now I'd had practically no contact whatsoever with any of the partners. All I knew of the partners was that they drove in flash cars, were allowed to arrive really late, sometimes with huge bags under their eyes , and what often seemed like the onset of a cold.



So I make my way upstairs to Mr Hsu's room and knock on the door. I hear a muffled voice telling me to go in. Now I was expecting his room to be something really impressive. You know, oak beam floors, Venus de Milo in the corner, that kind of thing. But oh no. There was none of that. What I saw were threadbare purple carpets, what looked like a mousetrap in the far corner, and files files files everywhere. And I mean everywhere. There wasn't even a desk and chair in there. He'd fashioned a set from the files.



I dread to to think what task lay ahead and it wasn't long before my darkest fears were confirmed. Bollocks. Fuck. Bugger.

"Big twial coming up, ok, you copy file. All file."

That was it. In one short moment all my dreams of what it meant to be a lawyer were shattered. I couldn't believe it. How could the telly lie to young impressionable kids like that? I had half a mind right there to book my next holiday ticket to LA to tell those lying bastard lawyers over there just what I thought of them. I never did though. In the end I could only afford a weekend in Bognor.

Sighing deeply I pick up an armful of files and stagger under the weight of them downstairs to the photocopier.

And this is where it happened...

Staggering down the hallways was the other office junior, Sandeep, who must have been called into the other partners office for the same reason! Our eyes met and then travelled to the photocopier. We both knew what this meant. The last one getting there was the fucker who was going to be working late tonight.

Dropping everything we both unleash cries of defiant fury and rush towards the machine. He has the slight legs on me as he seems to be getting there quicker. I'm running out of options. Desperate, I summon forth a bolt of pure red hot chi and fire it from the palms of my hands at Sandeep. It scores a direct hit on the top of his head which is temporarily engulfed in flames. He screams satisfyingly. I ready a hurricane kick but before I can execute the move Sandeep's leg shoots forward six feet to hit me in the chest. I grimace as little tweety birds suddenly surround my head. I see Sandeep assuming a Yoga position and I know I'm in trouble if I don't react quickly. I shake my head clear and double fire dragon punch! I hit Sandeep square on and he flies onto the floor in slow motion...



Is what was happening in my mind but the reality was...

I dived through the air, caught Sandeep side on, crashed into the water cooler, which spilled onto the photocopier with a horrible sizzle, and fell to the ground.



We both got sacked after that but became great friends.

LOL, I could actually picture the incident, glad you remained friends after that altercation