So..the Olympics is nearly upon us. Four glorious weeks of track and field. A chance for London to showcase to the World it's many delights. Or not...
Has there ever been a more shambolic preparation for any major sporting event in the entire history of mankind? Or indeed a more expensive one? We were told this Olympics would be a Games of Austerity. Well only if austerity means the most expensive Games ever held as the budget creeps up to 8.4 billion pounds. In the four years leading up to the Games what exactly has that 8.4 billion pounds been spent on? Is it really money well spent when British pensioners are shivering to death every winter? Maybe we should ask film director Danny Boyle, who has taken time out from filming Slumdog Millionnaire 2 - The Hackney Diaries, to organise an opening ceremony which he says will be inventive and cutting edge. Lets just hope that doesn't involve any athletes cutting their arms off.
From a visiting tourists point of view it's difficult to see precisely what they have to look forward to. With the exception of the West End to call London a pretty grim place is a bit of an understatement. Not even the sun wants to be in London this summer. The East End is still derelict, South London is still full of drug dealing criminals, and North London is still full of Arsenal and Tottenham supporters.
But perhaps I'm being a little harsh. Open deck tour bus rides around the high rise council estates of Harlesden could be a winner with the right marketing. Perhaps tourists will enjoy the myriad of culinary delights we have to offer too. Like Abdul's Awfentik Italian Pizza or Mr Chan's Fish n Chips where wooden forks and ketchup are an extra 10p and Pollock is slyly passed off as Cod.
And I suppose tourists will at least feel safe when they get off the plane and see a Capital city that resembles Bosnia with patrolling Army serviceman and mobile SAM sites to protect us from any terrorist attack from the air. Because everyone knows every terrorist keeps a glider in their garage and are far more likely to use this to carry out their acts of skullduggery instead of simply getting on The Tube.
Those travelling by car are probably likely to have the best experience of all. With the closure of the M4 by the time they actually make it to the Olympic stadium the whole sorry debacle will probably be over.
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